I'm Waking Up

This week’s protests and riots have been a wake-up call to America. They have also been a wake-up call to me. One of my favorite coping mechanisms is denial. Compartmentalization. Escaping from reality. But there is no escaping reality anymore. So I’ve been doing a deep dive on white privilege and taking a hard look at myself. 

What I’ve seen in myself over the last few days is that my privilege allows me to be in denial. I can focus on something else. I have the privilege of leaving my home and not worrying about violence. I don’t have to strategize how I dress/walk/talk to avoid suspicion. But that’s not possible for the Black people in our country. Trevor Noah’s YouTube post broke this down beautifully. 

I think of myself as an empathetic person and I would like to see myself as anti-racist. I was born in Northern Louisiana in 1970, and at that time segregation and racism were still mainstream and status quo. My parents, however, were not from the south and taught me from a young age that everyone deserves dignity and respect. We watched Roots and were horrified at how slaves and their descendants were treated. I had Black friends that I played with at school. My mother taught me about Dr. King and the civil rights movement.

I grew up seeing the KKK and similar groups and thinking they were the problem. Not my nice, white, liberal family. However, we were unconsciously complicit in the problem. By not speaking up when I was placed in the “White class” in first grade (after accidentally being placed in the “Black class” by accident). By ignoring the racist jokes and use of the n-word and dismissing them as part of the culture of the south. I acknowledge that segregation was a much bigger issue that I can hope to address in this short blog post, but I am only just now realizing the magnitude and impact of spending my formative years in such an explicitly racist environment. These early experiences will no doubt come up as I continue to examine my own racial biases.  

So what now? I can’t go back to denial. I can’t ignore what is happening. I am evaluating how I can use this White privilege for a good purpose. First, I will educate myself. To my Black friends and colleagues, it is not your responsibility to educate me. But if my privilege is showing, please call me out on it and I will commit to listening, even if my first impulse is defensiveness. Second, I own a business in a traditionally White and male industry. I will prioritize making Black people, POC, LGBTQIA, and women feel welcome and safe in my business community. Third, I’m raising two kids. I will have open and honest conversations with them and challenge the lens through which we white suburbanites see the world. We will imagine what it looks like through different lenses (thank you Brené Brown). Fourth, I will speak up to relatives, friends, and on social media when there is an activity that downplays or invalidates the experience of Black Americans. 

Kristen Keats

Founder + CEO

Mostly, though, I’m going to fight my natural draw to denial. I am going to force myself to see what is happening “out there” because nothing will change if I keep myself blanketed and asleep in my privilege.